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Nothing changes, if we don't.

Back in May I shared with you all about my meditation retreat plans with Dr Joe Dispenza. And if you’ve been around here a while you know I am obsessed. And why wouldn’t I be? His teaching and the work have changed my life. No exaggeration there! Actually let me rephrase that: his teaching and work has helped me change my life. Because this is not about him, or any other guru, coach or therapist. It’s about me!

Back in spring of last year, I began to meditate daily. (I have meditated for years already but never had a consistent practice.) I was not in a good place. With war in Ukraine, constantly living in fear, stress of 3 jobs, my family staying with me, my anxiety came back! And I didn’t like feeling that way.

It’s easy to stay in the loop of victimhood and allow the circumstances of our life dictate how we feel. Or we can make an empowered choice to change that, not the circumstances, but how we respond to them. This choice takes courage and foundation of self knowledge. And it takes lots of responsibility. It wasn’t my first time making that choice. I just needed to remind myself daily of who I am, inside of me, and that my true essence can’t be threatened by war or hate, and that my worth can’t be measured by how productive or “busy” I stay, and that I need pour into my own cup first.

But before I could do all of that I needed to remind myself how that it actually feels to be whole, to be in peace and harmony with myself. So I sat every morning with my self, my heart and the voice of Dr Joe in my headphones to cultivate those emotions inside of me. It was challenging, and it took a lot of overcoming my body. My body was in agony: how can you sit here in stillness when “the world is on fire”, how can you sit here feeling love and peace when there is so much hate, how can you just sit here when there are million things that need to be done. If you ever mediated you know it takes a lot of overcoming before you can actually feel the stillness of your being. I had to feel some uncomfortable feelings, and witness it all with grace and compassion and love. Again and again! But the vision of myself whole and peaceful, and healthy and happy was way more important to me that some discomfort.

The first time I’ve noticed changes in myself- not during the meditation but out in the world- I knew it was working! Was it not getting mad at someone in traffic, or was it not letting the bad news from home hijack my peace of mind, or was it a difficult conversation with someone who was in pain too? I don’t remember now, but I know I recognized I was meeting myself, and my circumstances from a greater level of awareness. And it was glorious!

It got to know my heart! For the first time in my life, I felt like I actually knew myself. I began to fall in love with myself. I felt good in my body! I healed my eating disorder and anxiety. And I felt awesome being me! Most importantly, I finally let my heart be my guide and let it empower me to make some drastic changes in my life. I quit a toxic job of 13 years that made me miserable and deteriorated my health; sold my business that was no longer aligned with my values, and didn’t bring me joy. And I gave myself a chance at a life of joy and peace rather than avoidance and pain.

I wish I could say: and I lived happily ever after! Which I do, I love my life more than ever, but the work on my self doesn’t stop. It is a daily choice to stay committed to the vision I hold for myself and the world. It is a daily responsibility to create my life according to that vision. It is a lot of course correcting and checking myself, one choice at a time.

It is a daily devotion to my heart!

As Dr Joe says, nothing changes until we change. The war in Ukraine is still devastating my home and killing my countrymen. The life still has plenty of challenges and frustrations. How I respond to life is changed. How I live my life is different!

We cannot expect to change the world if we stay the same. We cannot pray for peace in the world, but live in pain and hate inside of ourselves. We cannot let the hustle and bustle and constant distractions around us dictate how we feel. It is our duty to live the life of most joy, to live in love and to create a better world. Now more than ever!

Here are some questions for your to ponder over:

What is my vision for my life? Am I living the life of my dreams?

Do I know my heart? How can I follow its guidance more? What desires of my heart have I been putting off? What activities bring me joy and harmony? Do I do enough of that? Why not?

How can I show up for myself more?

If I were to die tomorrow, what would I do today?

p.s. if you’d like to experience Dr Joe walking meditation and to walk for a better future together, check out Walk For The World- a global walking meditation, completely free and super easy even for beginners. I am a part of this walking group, if you’d like to join us!

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